


King of Riddles

by Melyaliz



Series: Feathers [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Drunken hookup, F/M, Kink, One Night Stand, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melyaliz/pseuds/Melyaliz
Summary: The first rule of living in Gotham is to stay away from the Rogues. But when Jennifer gets drunk she may or may not get face blindness. But who cares?  She's horny and according to his friend, that guy needs to get laid
Relationships: Edward Nygma & Original Female Character(s), Edward Nygma/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Feathers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663138
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	King of Riddles

**Author's Note:**

> Jennifer is my OC, she's about Dick's age which means I'm thinking she's early 20s in this story and Edward is in his mid 40s.  
> This was basically a crack ship that came up as a joke with a few of my friends. Now that joke (like most of them) has gone too far and I can't stop. 
> 
> HELP!

“So the bartender wants to take me to a bar that isn't his?”

“It’s an edgy new hipster experience and Estel thinks your getting too depressing”

“What!?? No way I’m fun!” Jennifer said turning to the cute girl under Shane’s arm

“Nope totally depressing” Estel giggled as her boyfriend Shane pulled her closer. While the relationship was still new Jennifer couldn’t help but notice how Shane looked down at the curvy girl. This relationship was different from most of the revolving door of women that required his life. 

Not to mention Jennifer liked the sassy dark-haired woman who seemed to catch Shane’s eye quickly calling her a friend as well. 

So she forgave Estel’s insight. Jennifer wasn’t depressed, she had just been busy… worried about Dick Grayson and her sister as they got ready to travel the world busting meta gangs. Not that this wasn’t normal. But the goodbye had been a bit weird. Something about the way her oldest friend (and highschool ex) had said hugged her. Something about the way he looked down at her. 

Or maybe it was because they had “accidentally” slept together a week before. 

Or maybe it was all just in her head. 

Yeah, in her head, let’s go with that. 

Maybe Estel was right, she needed a night off. A night to cleanse herself of those feelings that only Dick Grayson could bubble up. 

“What are you drinking tonight?” 

“I don’t know, my bartender is getting me drunk” Jennifer responded to the voice that had cut through her musings. The young man laughed running his fingers through his messy hair obviously proud of the thick sandy brown curls that adorned his head.

“You have your own personal bartender?” Jen shrugged looking around for Shane who was ordering them more drinks at the bar. She was already several in at this point and feeling it. 

“Something like that, so what brings you out to this new establishment” the place was mostly dead, themed bars and restaurants didn’t normally last long in Gotham, especially when they weren’t owned by the large variety of themed villains that lived there. 

“My boss” the man nodded towards a slender red-haired man, slightly balding sitting sulkily in the corner alone. “He needs to get laid” 

“Well, it looks like your doing a great job wingman-ing for him” Judgement laced her voice as she scanned the bar for any condensers for his boss. Pickings were slim. 

“Can’t help the helpless”

Jen frowned, she was drunk but not that drunk. Or maybe she was that drunk. Regardless no one was getting unlaid on her watch. “isn’t that the… never mind I’ll do it.”

“Do what?” The man asked as Jennifer walked up to the loner in the corner.

“Whatcha drinking?” 

The man frowned, sizing her up as she sat down next to her. “James Bond was sour but when life gives them to you as the saying goes” 

“A lemon drop sounds good, I’m kind of over this Maze-a-rita or whatever they called it. So what’s the plan tonight?” 

The man leaned forward interest peaked at her response. “Waisting what is the longest and yet the shortest thing in the world; the swiftest and yet the slowest; the most divisible and the most extended; the least valued and the most regretted; without which nothing can be done; which devours everything, however small, and yet gives life and spirits to every object, however great.”

“Wasting your time” she sat down next to him leaning forward slightly her sea-blue eyes studying him. “So this is kind of your thing isn’t it,” Jen said waving her hand around the puzzle themed the bar. Mini-games and things littering the establishment. 

Now here’s the thing about Jen when she's… several drinks in. She gets what some might call face blindness. Everyone just looks like a person and even if her brain took the clues (for lack of a better word) she was too focused on helping this guy have a good time to realize who he was. 

“It’s not my thing, I AM that thing. I’m the king” he said arms open wide. For the first time speaking plainly.

Jen squinted at him for a moment. “Are you the Riddler? Like for real?”

“Yes”

“I thought you looked familiar but I’m also 5 in. One time I thought Thor, you know the Avenger God of Thunder, was a Norway Bodybuilder.”

“Really” Edward said frowning. 

“Yes, so my apologies King of Puzzles.” 

He nodded unsure if she was mocking him or not. “I accept your apology.”

“Ok, now you tell me something.”

“Huh?”

“I told you a fact about myself and now you tell me something”

“I told you I was the Riddler”

“And then I said I had a hard time telling who people are while drunk, now you…”

“This place is a poor excuse for a puzzleatoriam. I could do it so much better.”

“I bet you could.” She nodded looking around, “did you know there are secret rooms that you can unlock with clues that are around the room.”

“Really?” Interest peaked

“It’s pretty amiture stuff but my friend is busy with his girlfriend and I’m bored. Want to solve them with me?”

“Nothing else is occupying my time " 

She nodded turning to start their quest then paused as if she forgot something, "Jennifer.”

“Excuse me?” was this part of the game? 

“My name, Incase you wanted to know.”

“You could have made that more fun.”

“What can I say, I’m easy” it was said with a wink and a giggle at her innuendo. She was easy and she was also ready for a good time. 

Which they had. Very quickly, with both of them moving around the bar and gathering clues it really only took a matter of seconds. Taking the mixed drinks and the colors on the food to give the Bartender the code word “Love Potion” they stumbled into a small room with several couches and a fireplace. A much quieter cigar bar. 

“You smoke?” Jennifer asked as she looked around 

“Sometimes. You?”

“Not really” her fingers finding his hand much to his surprise. Pulling him into the room she led him to the bar. “Two whiskeys please” the bartender nodded pouring the drinks. As he did Jen leaned forward her body pressed against Edward’s as her lips grazed his ear, “Let’s steal that velvet couch in the corner” her warm breath sending shivers down Edward’s spines. 

He wasn’t used to this. A woman being this forward, especially a woman like her. She had to be at least 20 years younger than him. Playful with just a pinch of sexy energy that seemed to radiate from her. Her hands touching him just enough to get ideas but not enough to get caught. 

He would have assumed she was some sort of high-end prostitute if it wasn’t for the fact she was obviously very drunk and yet still seemed to be able to keep up with just about any topic he wanted to talk about. 

As they settled into the couch she sighed, “So did you see anyone tonight you liked?”

“What?”

“Your buddy… hair boy? I don’t know if I never got his name, said he was taking you out to get laid. Did you see anyone you liked? I’m an excellent wing woman.” 

“No, most people are beneath my intelligence level”

“Intelligence has nothing to do with sex” Jennifer laughed, “I mean I guess knowing what you are doing is important but I have fucked neurosurgeons who couldn’t give a blow job to save their -or anyone else’s- lives. 

“You’re just saying that because your kind likes meathead bodybuilders”

“My kind?” 

“Young. Hot.” 

“Eh, if you can put your mouth to good use I don’t give a fuck if you have pork or fish in your brain” 

Edward chuckled enjoying the play on words. Like he said, she was clever. 

“So how good is your mouth?” She asked her voice dipping down an octave, leaning forward. 

Jen was lonely and drunk. A dangerous combination. She needed something - or someone- to distract herself after making a complete idiot of herself before Dick had left. And while yes, this had started with her trying to find Edward a good lay she had gotten distracted. Plus he didn’t seem to be complaining about her company. 

So leaning forward she kissed the puzzle man. He responded with surprise at first but quickly tried to follow her lead. 

He wasn’t very good. 

Giggling she pulled away repositioning herself on the green sofa so she kneeling next to him. Hands-on either side of his head 

“Slow down,” she said, “and stop using your teeth.”

“I…” she didn’t give him a second to respond as she leaned forward again kissing him slowly. A bit tougher this time, more forceful. But she knew what she was doing as she ran her fingers through his hair and then down his back. His own hands gripping her hips as he enjoyed the taste of whiskey on her breath. 

Pulling away she smiled down at him, flushed and breathless “if you want to get out of here we can’t go to my place, I have a friend crashing.”

Get out of here? What did… ohh

Nodding Edward grabbed her hand pulling her quickly out motioning to one of his henchmen, Aiden. 

“Drive us back”

“But…”

“I can boss,” one of the others said, Carman, a larger man. “I haven’t been drinking” he added with disdain glancing at the other guy, hair boy, Aiden. Not that his name mattered anymore to Jennifer. 

Normally Edward hated the sound of women laughing. It always sounded condescending to him. As if they were laughing at him, not with him. However, Jennifer’s giggles sent a thrill through him as he dragged her up to his bedroom. 

“This looks like the bar,” she said spinning around for a moment hands out wide before flopping onto the bed kicking her heels off. 

“I told you I was the king of puzzles”

“Oh yeah,” she said grabbing at his thin tie he had been wearing pulling him toward her. “Well tell me a riddle and I’ll give you a reward.”

Was this girl for real?

“I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played. What am I”

This isn’t A Joke, it’s lovemaking” She responded as she pulled at his pants hands playing with the growing bulge. Fingers tracing it through the fabric before she looked back up at him through long lashes. 

How long had it been since he had been with someone? God, it felt like forever, the way she touched him he felt like a teenager with how aroused he was. 

“So so I need to solve a puzzle to get in?” She asked tugging at his pants again struggling with the clasps before meeting his gaze. Blue eyes that seemed so sultry it made his cock throb.

This woman wanted him. Bad.

It was a nice stroke to the ego along with the other stroking she was doing. 

“What is… hehe” he broke into surprised giggles as she kissed his bulge nuzzling it with her nose “what… uhhhh” it was like for a moment his brain flat-lined as she kissed his groin again. 

“This is as light as a feather, yet no man can hold it for long. What am I?”

“Your Breath.” 

He unzipped his pants his cock springing free. She stroked it twice and his eyes rolled back at the touch. Was he really this touch-deprived? He could feel his balls filling up and his cocks excitement. 

“Do that again?” Her voice sounded under him as she licked his shaft. Long and slow sending his brain into a tailspin. She giggled again as she stroked him once more before letting her warm tongue run up the underside of his shaft. 

“Huh? Ohhhhhh” his voice dragged out again at the feeling. She swirled her tongue around his tip a few times while her fingers played with his balls. Stroking them just enough he felt a breath growing ragged. 

Ok, so maybe she was a prostitute. No woman could be this good.

Leaning forward she took his full cock in her mouth sucking him letting out a low moan of her own sending vibrations. Gasping Edward lurched forward slightly grasping the air trying to ground himself. 

Definitely a prostitute. 

Going for her hair Edward pulled slightly swaying slightly on his knees as she continued letting her lips slide up and down his shift tongue playing around his pulsing cock as she moved. 

It was making his head spin, or maybe that was the alcohol. 

He wasn’t really sure at this moment. 

“I… uhhh I…”

“You close?” she asked pulling away for a moment stroking him slowly watching him. He couldn’t form coherent sentences as he nodded.

“Do you want me to finish you off here or ride you?” 

“What is… how…” When had THE Edward Nygma EVER been at a loss for words. “Ride” he gasped out moaning as she sucked at his tip waiting for an answer, her lips turned up slightly as she did. 

Getting up she grabbed his shoulders pulling him down before flipping him around. The movement so swift if he had been sober and not high on endorphins he would have admired her form. Reminiscent of eastern wrestling techniques. 

“I love how much you are enjoying this.” her voice was husky in his ear as she leaned forward letting her tongue travel down his body. As she grabbed the condom he had handed her. Sitting up she settled herself between his legs slipping it onto his cock before moving forward and sinking on top of him.

She felt amazing as she pushed him inside. 

He let out a string of moans and gasps as he pushed forward further. She giggled moving forward slightly so her hand could steady herself against the wall. His own fingers digging into her legs as she rode him 

“Oh yeah, just like that,” he cried out feeling himself so close as she moved above him matching his moments. Edward could feel himself getting close to his climax as he gasped for air his while body lighting up with energy pulling him higher and higher. 

Jennifer let out a soft moan matching his scream as he came. Ridding through his climax she slowed as he did. Looking down giggling a little as she brushed her dark locks out of her face. Then rolling off she looked up at him next to her. Hair and makeup messed up giving her a very smokey slightly wild look. 

“I’ll go in a sec,” she muttered eyes fluttering slightly as he cleaned himself throwing away the condom. 

“Ok” he said crawling back into the bed unsure if that was protocol or not. But she didn’t protest fading into sleep, him not far behind. 

He woke a few hours later to the bed moving slightly. Noticing her pulling away from him. Her legs between his. 

“Sorry I’m a drunk cuddler” she muttered as she moved out of the bed looking around for her skirt that had come off sometime during the night. 

“You could wait,” Edward muttered, “I’ll have Cameron or one of the others drive you home in the morning”

“I can take a cab, it’s fine.”

“How much”

She froze at his question looking up confused, “What?”

“How much do I owe you?” 

She stood there staring at him blankly for a new moments trying to piece together what he meant by that. “I… I’m not a prostitute, I’m a psychologist ” 

“You are?”

“Yeah so,” she giggled again as she slipped on her skirt shoving her underwear in her purse, “Fucking’s free, but if you want to talk it’ll cost you.” 

Winking at him she grabbed her heels and skipped out of the bedroom. Edward watching her in pure shock. What had just happened? 

Laying back down he replayed what he could remember of last night. His cock twitched slightly at the memory. 

That woman was a riddle. 

And he was the king of riddles.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please leave a comment/kudos/bookmark if you enjoyed!  
> Regardless you are AMAZING!


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